Am I ready to be in a relationship, is he the right person, the list goes on and on. These are some questions we ask ourselves when we are meet that person we love. However, we forget what relationships really entails and blinded by the emotions it comes with. Outlined are some of the realities you should look out for as you consider going into a new relationship.
1. He/she is not perfect, you cannot force him to change.
Deal with it. We all have our likes and dislikes and might have something in common. We are not referring to your favorite tv shows, sports or food but referring to psychological, spiritual, social and general worldview on topics such as handling money, parenting etc. Believe it or not, as Christians we know that sex before marriage is not accepted but most relationships end up with such experiences in this generation . It is difficult to change a guy who believes in sex before marriage especially if he has had similar experiences in his past relationship. Our life experiences (family, friends, relationships, finances, leadership opportunities etc.) help us build certain principles and these guides us into making certain decisions. Be ready to embrace other opinions about their worldview if you are willing and committed to build healthy relationships with them but be sure you don’t compromise on your standards as a believer.
2. Sexual purity gets harder not easier
Let us be honest, it is hard for two young, hormone filled people who are intensely attracted to each other to keep their hands off each other. As a believer, you will make resolutions and promises to pursue sexual purity, but some few weeks or a month into the relationship you are faced with the reality of nature(sexual desires) kicking in. It is natural and normal to have sexual and strong desires for the opposite sex during the relationship, but measures should be put in place to help keep the relationship pure. Get a mentor (pastor, counselor, matured believer) when you start dating to help you to be accountable for the decisions you make in that relationship. It gets easier when you openly admit your weaknesses and make efforts to help you control them.
3. You will meet better people
There is always someone better than your spouse in every aspect of your life. You will meet more caring, loving, successful guy along the way. You will also meet caring, beautiful and successful and more tolerant ladies whiles you are in that relationship. As stated earlier being in a relationship takes effort and commitment. Learn to appreciate the good things about your partner and learn to compliment them as well at what they do best. Stop comparing him or her to others (friends, ex), this only creates unhealthy competitions and a sense of inferiority complex. Focus on what matters.
4. Feelings doesn’t matter
1 Corinthians 13:4 says Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love is a decision made daily and should not be based on feeling. Don’t get me wrong, our emotions help us build strong bonds and helps express how we feel or perceive things. There will be “I don’t feel like” moments in the relationship but you will need to stick with the commitment. Your commitment will be put to test in the process of dating. One way or the other one may have to sacrifice his or her time, money, influence and even friends to make that relationship work.
5. It is possible to break up
Is good to have great expectations concerning relationships, but we need to embrace the truth- a breakup is possible and you are not immune to it. Sometimes by God’s own plan or by we making the wrong decisions in the relationship, things will not just work out. Don’t be obsessed or desperate to be in a relationship when you are in bondage, disrespected or forced to compromise on your Christian standards. Leave that relationship if you have to and don’t try to change your partner especially when it is related to sexual immorality. Doing this will drain you spiritually and psychologically especially when the partner seems not to be making any effort to change.
Relationship is a great experience but has its own challenges. It is great to have expectations but be ready to put in the effort to make it work.